Day Zero: I. Adore. Chocolate.

I love food.

I love to eat.

I love to cook.  I love to go out to eat.

I love desserts.

I adore chocolate.

Now, I know that this is typically not the type of post that you anticipate seeing on a blog called The Covenant Diet. But after I started a “homepage” post about eight thousand times I decided that the best way to start… the best way to introduce myself… was to keep it real.

And for real… I love food.

Which is why I am here and quite possibly why you are here.

WHY ARE YOU HERE? This is a blog that I am keeping of my journey through something I’m calling The Covenant Diet. To get a better idea of where it all came from, you can read my story and get some background information. But in essence: I am going to do a Daniel Fast (veggies, fruits, nuts, grains, beans, and some dairy) for… well, for the rest of the year of 2012. Possibly longer depending on how deep my addiction to food runs… and as you can tell from my first few sentences… it’s pretttttty bad!

WHY SO PUBLIC? Part of my goal is to make it as public as possible.  Not because I want to show off.  Not because I want a jillion readers on my blog. But because I need, like, a TON of accountability. I wish that at this point the only accountability I needed was God… but well… I’m just not sure that I’m there yet and that’s kinda one of the reasons He put us all in a community: to support each other.

MIND RENEWALS? Another part of my goal was to focus on God changing my heart… renewing my mind. As you can see if you read my story, I know exactly what to eat and what not to eat. So I know that I need… I mean, I NEED God to change my heart. So, I’m going to try to post a little thing I’ll call a Mind Renewal each day (typically normal people call these “devotionals” but I’m not entirely sure what that word means or where it comes from and “mind renewal” was just a bit more specific for me). DISCLAIMER: I have two young boys and so there will probably be days that I do not post. Sorry in advance for that!

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME  I hate to say that but this blog is really all about me. I know that most people write blogs for others but first and foremost I am trying to get my addiction to food under control. If you get some kind of help from this… or if you have advice for me… then that is awesome and I’d love to know.

Happy Covenanting!

We’ve Moved… To A New Website!

I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here… well, sorta!

I’ve been blogging over at TheCovenantDiet.com for a couple of weeks and I thought that all of you guys who subscribe had been moved over! But today a nice lady at WordPress and I discovered that indeed… your subscription did not move with me… YET!

That same nice lady is looking into what went wrong and we’ll get you set up soon!

In the meantime, I posted today about a Seven-Day Daniel Fast that we’re going to start tomorrow, so go check it out and do it with me!

And you can also get a chance to watch over the next few weeks how my currently-basic blog will transform a bit to look a bit nicer! I’m having to learn a lot and work on a budget for some of the upgrades, so I appreciate everyone’s patience! Hopefully it’ll just be a few days until everyone has moved along with me!

Day 595: Slow Your Roll

Two years ago if my kid would’ve had a rough day at school like he did today, I would’ve made myself an entire batch of brownies or a vat of cookie dough to accompany me as I worried.

Admittedly, today I did slam back a handful of chocolate chips. (Which, for the record, did NOT help me cope with my worry!) And even though going to the pantry is not the response I want to have when I worry, it is SO MUCH better than what it used to be. I spent a lot of the day praying. I spent a lot of the day looking up scriptures. I spent a lot of the day turning and turning and turning to God.

But this afternoon I started to wonder, Gosh, God. How much longer until I DON’T go to the pantry searching for relief? I thought I’d be totally over that by now. And then I thought to myself:

Change can sometimes be slow. Slower than we want. But God is faithful. He may not change you at the speed you want, but He’ll change you at the speed that is right.

Day 588: A Tale Of Two Milkshakes

I guess I was asking for it.

Culvers. Happy Hour. $1 “Short” Shakes. Two squirely boys who NEVER finish eating anything.

There was A LOT left over.

And I was doing good, until I started wondering what the “brownie bites” tasted like. And so… I tasted… just one.

Pandora’s box, my friends, had nothing on a bite of sugary sweet.

It was all I could handle not to eat the whole thing there right in front of my boys. But I didn’t.

But I was planning on eating all of it when they weren’t looking. I mean, I was playing this game with myself of trying to rationalize, “Oh well, maybe I should be having one day a week where I can have sugar.” Seriously?!?!? Jan, we’ve been down this road before SEVERAL TIMES. If that worked, it’d be AWESOME. But it just doesn’t work for you.

For you, sugar is a drug.

A very, very addictive drug. With a pull stronger than the strength of a thousand horses. (Sorry, I’m too brain dead to come up with a stunning comparison! Ha!)

And as we pulled in to play at McDonald’s for a while (By the way, if you are thinking, “Wow they go to McDonalds and Chick Fil A all the time”… yes, we play at these establishments a lot and 95% of the time, I never buy a thing! It’s free air-conditioned/heated play space… I ain’t gonna say no to that!)

Anyway, as we pulled in to play at McDonald’s, I looked down at those two shakes and just prayed…

God, deliver me from this.

His answer: Commit this to Me.

I knew at that moment, I had to commit to not eat those shakes. So my mind went to eating something at McDonald’s instead… no. I had to commit the whole evening. What would I commit, what would I not commit? I thought, Just go easy… go Daniel Fast style. You know it in and out and you can stick by it with what you have at home.

Thus commencing the 5 Hour Daniel Fast.

I know it’s a bit comical. A 5 Hour fast???

But it was necessary. I had to COMMIT to Him. No talking myself out of it. No rationalizations. No confusion or loopholes.

It’s what’s best.

And then I realized the awesome answered prayer. My verse/prayer this morning.

Bend down, God, and hear my prayer. Answer me; I need your help. I will call to you when I’m in trouble, and you will answer me. Ps 86:1,7

And tonight it is my song of praise…

You bent down & heard my prayer & answered me when I needed your help.
I called to you when I was in trouble, and you answered me!!! Ps 86:1,7

Day 587: Step Aside, Skywalker

It took me a long time to realize that I could not do this alone.

There are so many areas of my life that were “easy” to give over control: my marriage, my children, my work. You’d think my eating would be easy-breezy compared to those.

But…… no.

For years I simply thought I was supposed to endure the problem or fix it… alone. The thought had never crossed my mind to allow God to have something to do with my eating. I mean… what was he gonna DO anyway? Turn Oreos into avocados on the way down??? (Which, for the record God, I’d be totally fine if you decided to bust out that miracle!

Until I realized the heart of the matter: that my heart and my mind were the matter! I was a glutton. I was an overeater. I was eating for all the wrong reasons.

But the gospel… literally… the GOOD NEWS was that I was also a child of God. I was allowed to tap into the same force that made the flipping Universe!

I mean, seriously… step aside, Mr. Luke Skywalker! Take notes Yoda.

I’m not going to just use The Force – I have THE. FORCE. living IN me!

So here I am, with His uncontainable power at my disposal, but still… still today even I try to do it all on my own. So, I must start every morning with this simple prayer. Say it with me. Start your day with me. No…

Start your day with Him.

God, today and everyday, I beg for your help. I lift up my hands and my heart to you for mercy. Amen. {Psalm 88:9}

Day 584: New Site, New Focus, New Tagline?

Friends, I’m so sorry to have been delayed with my posting of late. I am moving over to a new site: thecovenantdiet.com!!! You don’t need to go there now cause it’s still in the transition phase and is sorta… ugly. But it’s GONNA be awesome soon… we should be applying the theme today or tomorrow! My wonderful hubby, Mr. Chord Dice himself, is my webmaster since I know zilch about code so he is doing the migration for me.

But keep reading… I need some advice.

I’m thinking of changing my tagline. Right now it is “my journey from gluttonous to glorious” but just recently I came across the Message version of Romans 12:2 and it has this one part in it that grabbed my attention in a big way.

And the more that I think about that, I realize… that’s it. That’s my whole goal here. I want to fix my attention on God and I want Him to change me from the inside… out.

So, I’m thinking of going from “my journey from gluttonous to glorious” and making it “changed from the inside out“.

I dunno. What do you think?

Out with the old and in with the new, or if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?

Either way… I love the new mindset of keeping my attention on Him and as I change on the inside spiritually my actions and my body will reflect that internal change of heart.

Day 580: Losing Weight Is Great, Buuuuut…

Okay, so tomorrow marks 2 weeks since I started my Daniel Fast/Plan.

(Which reminds me that I need to talk about the difference between the two in a post sometime! I haven’t forgotten! Well, I mean, I have forgotten, but I haven’t like… forgotten, forgotten. Ya know? Great!)

Anyway, so tomorrow is 2 weeks. Only 14 days of being essentially a vegan but even more hard-core than that. I’ve been eating only fruits, veggies, and nuts except for two times when I’ve had rice with my meal. No cheese. No pasta. No bread.

And it’s weird… I’m not, like, dying or anything.

On the contrary, I’m probably having the exact OPPOSITE effect on my body! I’m probably earning myself some extra days for every meal that I eat like this.

And I won’t lie and say that I haven’t been THRILLED at the fact that I have obviously lost some weight in just those two weeks. I mean, y’all know that I don’t weigh any more after Day 118: Trippin, but I can tell in my clothes BIG time. I mean, I’m not like rockin a size 4 after two weeks or anything but I am fitting much more nicely into my shorts again. And my face… it looks completely different already. Maybe none of that is noticable to anyone else, but I know it… I see it… I feel it.

BUT.

That is not why I am feeling blessed tonight.

I’m feeling blessed because it has been two weeks of freedom again. And especially because I know that this time it’s for the long-haul. As each day passes and I feel more and more free and less and less wrapped up in FOOD THINKING, the more I know that I want this to be me… forever. No more 1-year contracts or 5-year contracts with God. Forever.

And friends… it is good to think about being free… forever.

Day 579: Not Gonna Post

I was going to write out a nice post today.

And then I read my own posts today on facebook and twitter and google+.

Instead I’m going to take my own advice (for once).

I’m gonna set it all aside and worship Him through rest and peace.

Go on… do the same.

Even if you aren’t reading this until late Sunday evening… stop and rest.

 

Recipe: Three Bean Summer Salad

I’m going to just admit… most of my recipes stem from desperation.

Oh my gosh – dinner needs to be ready in twenty minutes!
Oh heavens- I forgot that I had to go to the grocery store!
Oh no- I just can’t eat another “house” salad!

So, I have to come up with stuff that is a) quick and easy, b) already in my pantry and fridge, c) Isn’t a regular ol salad.

And this recipe fit the bill! (And it was good!)

FYI: It’s even better if you can put the beans in the fridge before hand so that they aren’t as easily smushed in the mixing process!

Three Bean Summer Salad

Ingredients

• 1 can dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can white cannellini/white kidney beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can great northern beans, drained and rinsed
• 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro
• 1/8 cup chopped green onion tips
• 1/8 cup chopped green (or red) bell pepper
• 1-2 dashes seasoned pepper
• 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar and 1/4 cup olive oil OR 1/2 cup Italian dressing (in lieu of the vinegar and oil)

Instructions

1. Combine beans, red onion, cilantro, green onions, bell pepper, and vinegar.
2. Mix together apple cider vinegar and olive oil. Pour over bean mixture and gently stir to combine.
3. Refrigerate for three to four hours (or if you are a last minute slacker like me, put it in the freezer for ten minutes, take out, and mix. Do this two more times so that the beans are in the freezer for thirty minutes total.)

Day 575: The “New” New

Remember that time that I sorta went off the healthy eating reservation and struggled with food, and subsequently my weight, for several months…

Okay, for seven months…

And then when I finally snapped to about a week ago when I did a four-day Daniel Fast (which has turned into a twenty-one day Daniel Fast), I realized…

Wow. I gained quite a bit of weight during those seven months of struggle.

Cue: Time to get down on myself. Time to beat myself up. Time to question God’s plan. Time to cope by eating more. Time to reprimand myself for sinning. Time to cower before God’s punishment.

Only… this time that didn’t happen. Cause ya know why?

Cause I am new.

Yes, I know. New… once again.

I was new a year ago when I first started the covenant, and I coasted off of that newness for 365 days. Until I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I could be both the old me and the new me.

Fail.

But now, I am a “new” new.

I have learned even more about God and His plans and His thinking and His ways.

His ways aren’t my ways.
My ways aren’t His ways.

I know now that after this 21 days that there will be another 21 days and another 21 days and another.

And I know now that after those 21 days, that this lifestyle of eating will continue until I transfer my residency from Earth to Heaven.

Because I have realized that God wants to heal me… not for just a year, but for a lifetime.

God, I want a permanent healing. Not just a year. Not just five years. I want to be fresh and “new” new forever. You see, these seven months I’ve been just holding on. Holding on to you. I’ve been depending on You, God; knowing that you are everything I need. Keep loving me, God, with all you’ve got— that’s what I’ve been depending on. Psalm 33:20,22 And now I keep holding on, but I feel like now I’ve let you pull me off of the cliff and that we are, once again, walking together. Help me stay waking with You, God. Amen.

Day 574: All Figured Out

I think I’m going to stop saying “I got it all figured out.”

I’m gonna even stop thinking it.

Because that always seems to backfire. And then I have to LEARN something that God wants to show me.

Okay, a bit of sarcasm about the “learning” thing there… I always LOVE that I had to learn something, AFTER I have “finished” the learning.

And, well, for the past seven months I have been doing a lot of learning.

A lot of learning, the hard way.

I’ve been learning that God is not a quick fix.
God is not a Weight Watchers plan.
He is not Jenny Craig.
He is not Atkins. South Beach. The Zone.
The Lord of the Universe is not Slim Fast.
Or Advocare. Or Plexus. Or Body by Vi.*
God is not even a Daniel Fast, biblical though it may be.

God is His own plan.
And God has His own plan.
And His plan is not made or designed or produced by us.
His plan was intricately woven in Heaven.
Thousands of years ago.

And as much as it hurts sometimes, His plan involves us going down painful roads. Roads of confusion. Roads of disappointment. Roads of trial.

So, that’s why I made that insta-whatever-you-call-it today. (And puh-lease ignore my typo in it… I swear I proofread that thing a zillion times and still missed it!) Because it is so very, very important to remember in those moments of pain, confusion, disappointment, and trial… it is so very important to remember that GOD IS WORKING OUT HIS PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.

But he is.

So when you can’t button those “fat jeans”… pray that He would help you.
When the scale is ten pounds more than you hoped for… pray that He would heal you.
When your doctor tells you that you are now a type II diabetic… pray that He would guide you into health.

Because God WILL work out His plans for your life. It is not over. Stay by Him. His faithful love endures FOREVER.

Psalm 138 prayer…

Oh God, help me to see You as you work your plan for my life. Help me to know that your faithful love, God, that it endures forever. Please don’t abandon me, God, because you made me. I am yours. I pray that as soon as these words leave my lips that you will answer me and encourage me by giving me strength. I praise you now for your unfailing love and faithfulness. I give you thanks God with all that I am. Help me and guide me and love me. Oh God, love me. Amen.

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*By the way, not dissing those diets if they work for you… they were “quick fixes” for me, that’s why I listed them here.