Posts tagged ‘focus’

August 16, 2013

Day 584: New Site, New Focus, New Tagline?

Friends, I’m so sorry to have been delayed with my posting of late. I am moving over to a new site: thecovenantdiet.com!!! You don’t need to go there now cause it’s still in the transition phase and is sorta… ugly. But it’s GONNA be awesome soon… we should be applying the theme today or tomorrow! My wonderful hubby, Mr. Chord Dice himself, is my webmaster since I know zilch about code so he is doing the migration for me.

But keep reading… I need some advice.

I’m thinking of changing my tagline. Right now it is “my journey from gluttonous to glorious” but just recently I came across the Message version of Romans 12:2 and it has this one part in it that grabbed my attention in a big way.

fix your attention

And the more that I think about that, I realize… that’s it. That’s my whole goal here. I want to fix my attention on God and I want Him to change me from the inside… out.

So, I’m thinking of going from “my journey from gluttonous to glorious” and making it “changed from the inside out“.

I dunno. What do you think?

Out with the old and in with the new, or if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?

Either way… I love the new mindset of keeping my attention on Him and as I change on the inside spiritually my actions and my body will reflect that internal change of heart.

Advertisements
June 17, 2013

Day 524: Sour Laundry

These days, it seems I’m lucky to get a chance to write. My life has just turned into one big don’t-have-time-to-write slur of days. And there have been days in a row where my fingers are, literally, aching with words to write. But sitting down for the thirty minutes per post (minimum) to write is just not happening lately.

But don’t give up on me! My oldest starts full-time Kindergarten in the fall and my youngest will be going to preschool two days a week… and my husband has been emphatic that I spend those ten hours a week of non-kid life… writing! So, if you can make it with my sporadic writing until August then there will be a reward.

Well, sorta. I mean… a reward as in, I will write with regularity. Ha!

Okay, with that being said. I sorta wish that today had been one of those days in which I wrote this morning instead of now because I think I could have used some positivity and prayer… well… much, much earlier than right before bed. Ha!

We went on an impromptu whirlwind trip to the beach this past weekend (it was my kids’ first trip to the beach) and so needless to say, there was no time to think much less write. And then this morning, there was noooooo wayyyyyyy I was going to wake up before my kids I was so exhausted.

So when I finally got up and going, I came across a washer full of clothes that I put in on Thursday morning before this happened:

Husband: Let’s go to the beach.
Me: Okayyyyyy, when?
Husband: Uhhhh, now.
Me: Now as in… now?!?!
Husband: Now as in… like in an hour? Come on. It’ll be fun. It’ll be my Father’s Day present.

I do love being impromptu and now that we have kids we are almost NEVER impromptu and so as I looked at the calendar, I realized… now really WAS the best time to go. So, I said yes.

And we left two hours later for the beach.

And I forgot about the load of laundry in the wash.

Gross. Gag. Ewwww. Ick.

My day just sorta never really perked back up after that. It was a sour laundry kind of a day. A very, very typical Monday.

{This is where I’m supposed to write one of my encouraging posts
with positivity and prayer, buuuuuuuuut I’m not.
Annnnnnnnnnd I’ll tell you why.}

Well, first of all… I hate to write these things. I feel like I’m letting you down. I know I’m letting Him down. But I don’t want you to look at this post and think, “Oh, this whole thing didn’t work for her… it won’t work for me either.” Because that’s not it. So, just stick with me for a sec.

I ate a bunch of chocolate this weekend. And then again today.

I think it’s safe to say, I’m struggling.

I think it’s even safer to say… that the phrase “I’m struggling” is an understatement.

And here’s why I chose to stop my positivity thing and share this with you. I turned into The Promise Bible to see if there was something that sorta “fit” my mood today and lookie at what I turned to…

20130617-224922.jpg

Yeahhhhhhhhh. I’m gonna admit that I froze still when I saw that. I’m not one for the whole “turn to a random page and that is God talking to you” philosophy but dannnnnnng these two pages facing each other sure as heck got my attention.

And I’ve been following this guy The Anti-Jared on his facebook and his instagram. And he posted this pic the other day on facebook with the following comment.

the anti jared“When I was struggling I took a picture at 272 pounds. I am under 200 now.
But being a father motivates me to be my best. And it is better than any food I have ever eaten.”

And I know that I’m supposed to either get something from the quote in the pic or from his being a father motivates him… but ya know what I zoned in on and have been zoning in on? “When I was struggling…” I think that this is key for me right now… this guy struggled. But he feels powerful and in control now. But at this point… he was struggling. But he persevered. He stuck with it. And so now he can say “WHEN I was struggling…”

It’s not that I took comfort in the fact that he struggled. It’s that I take comfort in the fact that he overcame! And it’s like I just need to keep on… keepin on. I remind myself now “This is a journey. This is a journey. This is a journey.” It’s not about sinning or not sinning. It’s not about yesterday or today. It’s about the journey. It’s about staying focused on that destination and running for it at times, and at other times trudging towards it. But the key… THE KEY… is to keep. moving. forward.

So, I think that maybe I’ve come full circle to my positivity. And well… I started to bold the “important” parts and then I realized that I had bolded the whole thing. Ha!

Slow down… slow down and really look at this.

My child, pay attention to what I say.

Listen carefully to my words.

Don’t lose sight of them.

Let them penetrate deep into your heart,

for they bring life to those who find them,

and healing to their whole body.

Guard your heart above all else,

for it determines the course of your life.

Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.

Look straight ahead,

and fix your eyes on what lies before you.

Mark out a straight path for your feet;

stay on the safe path.

Don’t get sidetracked;

keep your feet from following evil.

Proverbs 4:20-27

Oh Lord God… today I am humbled yet again. Today I am reminded of the fact that I can only do this through Your Power and in Your Timing. Help me to remember that this. is. a. journey. This is not over just because I ate some Easter m&ms. This is just a step in the journey.

I realize now how important it is to keep my eye on The Prize. I think that I’ve let my eye wander away from You and focus more on my weight and weight loss than on you. As always, bring me back. And ya know… I can tell you are. I can see in all the tiny ways that are adding up that you are bringing me back around. I know, God, that I’m going to stay on this path. And I’m going to stay on it because I know that You won’t give up on me. And if you won’t give up on me… then I think that I won’t give up on me either.

But I hear your words to “guard my heart above all else” and I know that is my new focus. I’ve been more focused for months on “guarding my food choices above all else” and I think that I was just deterring off of the “safe path” that you speak of. Again, God, please… bring me back. I give myself to you. Broken, again. Hurting, again. Ready, again.

Thank you that your mercies ARE truly new each morning. Thank you that I can shake this off and begin again with my eyes on what is ahead. Guide me through tomorrow God. Keep me on the safe path and keep my eyes focused on You. Ohhhhhhhhh howdy. How I love You.

Amen.

December 31, 2012

Day 356: Full Circle

20121231-233508.jpg

It’s the last day of 2012.

What. a. year.

Okay, well technically I didn’t start until, what was it, January 11th? So technically it isn’t exactly a year. But… come on. Even 356 days of this covenant is a big deal.

356 days without sugar.
356 days to experience the blessing of God.
356 days of change.
356 days.

Wow- ya know, I had no idea the journey I was going to go on 356 days ago.

I was just re-reading my initial post on Day One, and here was the thing I wrote at the very end:

    So, here I am… copying Hezekiah (2 Chronicles 29:10)

    I intend to make a covenant with the Lord, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from me. Today, God, I covenant with you to only eat veggies, fruits, nuts, cheese, grains, and water until the end of 2012. Please bless me with freedom from my addiction to food. I want so desperately to purify my temple so that my thoughts… my worship… is on YOU God – not on food.

And today, on my last day, I know I’m probably supposed to have something brilliant to say. something spiritually insightful. something encouraging.

But I’m afraid instead I’m just gonna have to be honest.

I read that last part “I want so desperately to purify my temple so that my thoughts… my worship… is on YOU God – not on food.” and although I am focused on Him more this year than before, I am still just not satisfied with the ratio. I still think about food a lot. Maybe more so along the lines of choosing good foods but still… I think about it a lot and I want that part to “go away”.

And that is just one of the reasons that here on my technically “last day” I am signing on for more. Because I know God has not finished reworking and renewing me. And again I laugh at myself for thinking that He would just up and be finished with me after 356 days. Haha! It’s kind of ridiculous.

But at the same time, what a cool thought to end 2012 with… God has a plan for me this year. He knows what is in store for me on January 29, 2013. March 2, 2013. He knows exactly where I’ll be May 17th. September 4th. He knows my thoughts and feelings on November 13th and… December 31, 2013.

And that is a comfort.

And so as I sit here fighting off sleep as I sit by the fire and plan to shuffle off to the bedroom as soon as I hit publish, I am myself lifted up. encouraged. reminded.

God loves me.
God has plans for me.
God is refining me.
God intends to bless others through me.
God intends glory to His Name through my life.

    The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Isaiah 58:11
September 28, 2012

Day 262: CheeriUh-Oh

I was gonna jump in to how I started eating my son’s leftover Cheerios last night and be all “oh no, I ate bad again… yada yada yada”, and then I was all like, yeah, but that one moment doesn’t characterize my entire day. Maybe I shouldn’t just jump right into talking about my failures. Maybe I have been a wee too focused on my failures. Maybe I should look more at the things that were successes. The areas where God’s power is working and, slowly, becoming evident.

But, the title was too clever for me to trash, so I kept that part. Ha!

First of all, just ignoring Facebook yesterday morning and reading some bible and then blogging. That was a huge step (especially because that dadgum post was giving me so much trouble… I mean, I tried to post that thing like four times and it kept deleting chunks or just not posting, but I was pretty determined to get that done. It sorta felt like Satan was trying to work some evil in keeping me from posting it).

And then this afternoon, I prayed again for fifteen minutes. I almost missed it and I just had this unsettled feeling, so I stopped folding the baskets, and baskets, and baskets of clean clothes and went into my room and prayed. I just prayed praise and thanks to God for being… well, for being awesome.

Yesterday at one point… I ate an orange! Haha! I had to kind of force myself away from the pantry, but I ate an orange instead of junk.

I started out the day really repeating scripture. This sorta petered off as the day went on (as did my focus) but it was a great start to the day. Writing this now puts my mind back on the scriptures that I posted yesterday.

God, you are the one who saves me.
God, you are right beside me.
God, you are able to do more than I can imagine.

And an oldie that came back to my mind this morning in the shower…
God, make me willing to obey.

I am having to just take each day at a time and each hour at a time and find those spots where I can call to God, rely on God, praise God, and read or say the Words of God.

So, maybe CheeriUh-Oh was the right title. Cheerio to living life by myself and helllllo reliance on God!

May 14, 2012

Day 125: Uh Oh…

Haha – well, I knew what I wanted to title this already but I just sorta started to think that someone might look at just the title in their inbox and think, “Oh, poor January, she musta broken her covenant again. Bless her heart.” (Which, I’m a southern woman… “Bless her heart” never means that for real, it means, “Oh thank heavens someone has messed up so I can feel better about myself!” haha)

But, it’s not so much about that at all (Thank Ya Jesus!) but about a friend of mine that called a couple of days ago (whom I have yet to call back because I’m a crazy woman with crazy kids that can’t seem to be quiet long enough for me to make a phone call and when they are sleeping, I have to be quiet so that they can sleep, y’all know the drill… even if you don’t have kids then you probably have some crazy sister-in-law or cousin who has young kids… we tend to be pretty crazy protective of the nap time!!!). She recently started the covenant and called saying that she was a little freaked out because she had gained four pounds.

So I’m going to write my friend Rhonda a post in response to her call… sorta kill two birds with one stone, ya know? Plus, I had another friend, Christy, who had the exact same thing happen to her.

First of all, I don’t know! haha! I had no idea that I would lose weight myself so quickly. I had no idea if I would lose weight at all… I just hoped that I would.

GET OFF TOSS THE SCALE: So, really, my first thing would be to say that it cannot be about the weight. If I have learned anything through this process, it is to not weigh. Allow your clothes not fitting to be your only guide if you have to have a guide… as difficult as that may be. We just need to forget all of this weight stuff… these arbitrary numbers. This body of ours that God has designed is infinitely complex and it responds to eating, not eating, changing diets, etc. exactly as it should. So, if you know that you are eating foods that honor God and only eating until you are satisfied/no longer hungry, then just turn your focus to Him. Which leads me to my next point…

FOCUS ON HIM: I think that the best part of the covenant so far as been how much it has forced me to read the Word of God. I mean, like I have said, I have been reading through the bible since October but this has taken it to a whole new level because I am relying on the Word to save me (in a non-get-salvation-go-to-heaven kind of way, of course). When I need some of those things that I turned to food for before (comfort, entertainment, relief, relaxation, etc), now I turn to the Word (well, at least 95% of the time – haha… okay, okay, 92% of the time). And it has been so awesome to see Him sustain me with just the Word. It truly is POWER and it keeps me from overeating or eating when I’m not hungry or eating what I have agreed not to eat… which leads me to my next point as well…

WHAT’S THE PROB: I think it’s important to take a real-honest-to-God look at myself every once in a while and evaluate the way I eat and decide if I think it honors God or not. Most of the time… well, actually, so far… All of the time that I have been gaining or not losing it has been because:

  • I was overeating (eating when I’m not hungry for some “other” reason that wasn’t hunger and/or eating when I am already full) or because
  • I was eating too many processed or “easy” foods (i.e. bread, tortillas, peanuts, cheese) instead of foods that would really honor God because they are beneficial for my body (i.e. fruits and vegetables).

In fact, this has been really good for me to write about because I have been going through a similar “Why am I not losing?” kind of phase. I think that knocking out the bread and chips will help me out in that area because they were becoming an all-too-frequent “go to” but I also think that I’m going to come up with a new rule for myself… if I am hungry and it’s not a meal (like it’s snack time) then I can eat fruit. I still don’t tend to “default” to fruit even though it completely rox my sox and I really have gotten to the point where I love it…

  1. I just need to have it around all the time so I need to be more diligent about getting to the store… the same way I am about whole milk for my toddler I need to be about fruit for me… if we are out then I need to get my bootie to the store and load up, and
  2. I need to help renew my mind so that it defaults to fruit. I have gotten my mind to “default” to the Word to sustain me and now I need to retrain this “go to” into a fruit thang.

Okay, Rhonda, again… sorry for not calling back but turns out it was really good for ME to have to sit down and sort of hash this out! Haha! And well, it IS all about me, right?!!? Haha! Either way, this post is for you!!!

Update: Rhonda texted me a couple days after this post to let me know that she had lost 7 pounds but was gonna stay off the scale for the next month and a half! Blessings and peace to Rhonda!

May 11, 2012

Day 122: Eat His Words

My husband brought home a surprise Olive Garden dinner for us last night. It was my fav OG meal: shrimp fettucini alfredo, OG salad, stuffed mushrooms, and… breadsticks.

Dern those things. I mean… don’t get me wrong. They are uh.maz.ing. Like truly one of the foods that was delish before I went on my Lent fast and was still delish after my Lent fast.

But I think as good as they are, I need a “break” from them… from bread and chips.

I have really been praying on what I should do and time and time again I feel pulled to stop eating them. My only reluctance comes from how it can limit some of my fav meals like enchiladas or this “chips n chicken” recipe both my husband and I love (I use mushrooms in my half).

So I’m going to try a “balance” for this one. I’m going to modify my covenant from “avoiding” breads and chips unless they are in a recipe to refraining from eating breads and chips unless they are an ingredient for a recipe.

Cause really, it’s just not worth it. Both breads and chips have become an issue that is slowly, stealthily creeping towards being “bigger” than Jesus in my mind.

If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is much better for you to lose one of your limbs than to have your whole body go off to hell. Matthew 5:30

Of course, I’m not talking about cutting off a limb but it is a similar principle. There is something in my life that is taking my focus off of Christ… just like the chocolate and sugar was (although that was more severe for me which is why I know that I can afford myself no leniency with it)… so I am going to chop it off and rid that distraction.

Now for how long? For a month? Three months? The duration of the covenant?

Yeah… I think bread and chips are a big enough of an issue that they need to go for the rest of the year.

My mind was just teetering on writing this: {sigh} but then I thought, “Wait, think about how you really feel……” and there it was. Not disappointment. Not fear. Not regret.

Peace.
Relief.
Joy.

Truly… People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4

February 23, 2012

Day Forty-Four: Insanity

I had a friend and blog-follower ask me the other day why I haven’t mentioned anything about working out.

Well, here’s what it boils down to: I’m just gonna come clean and let everyone know that I do not like to work out. I don’t like to run. I don’t like to lift weights. I don’t like to do aerobics, or yoga, or pilates, or zumba (well, I have never actually tried zumba… it sounds crazy enough that I might be able to at least endure it- haha). I do enjoy swimming but not for the sake of working out… I just enjoy it for it’s mere awesomeness of that floating and flying sensation.

So… all of that to say that if I’m working out, it’s only for the cause of losing weight. I just don’t get that euphoria afterwards that I’m “supposed” to get, and I’m pretty much miserable during each work out, and then there is the getting into workout clothes which are always somehow either too snug or falling off, and of course then I have to bathe again after working out, and… okay, okay. I have made myself clear. Sorry for being a grouch about it! Haha – I guess I needed to vent a little!

I say this because I am not working out because I don’t want to lose weight any other way than by my eating habits changing. That might sound ludicrous and weird, but here is my reason: I need my overeating food and addiction to food and focus on food to be eradicated from my life. If I find another way to be “skinny” (i.e. working out) instead of getting this addiction under control then it defeats the purpose of this entire covenant. My focus this year is not to change my body (although I will totally admit that I hope it changes for the smaller) but to change my heart, soul, and mind.

Hopefully, I will be so renewed by the end of the year that I will be such a new person that I will want to work out. Or maybe I’ll be smaller and pounding the pavement won’t be as gosh-darn painful. Or my heart will have such a smaller amount of strain that zumba will be fun.

But I’m pretty darn sure that I will never, ever do a workout titled INSANITY. That’s just plain crazy! Haha!

%d bloggers like this: