Posts tagged ‘spiritual’

August 7, 2013

Day 575: The “New” New

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Remember that time that I sorta went off the healthy eating reservation and struggled with food, and subsequently my weight, for several months…

Okay, for seven months…

And then when I finally snapped to about a week ago when I did a four-day Daniel Fast (which has turned into a twenty-one day Daniel Fast), I realized…

Wow. I gained quite a bit of weight during those seven months of struggle.

Cue: Time to get down on myself. Time to beat myself up. Time to question God’s plan. Time to cope by eating more. Time to reprimand myself for sinning. Time to cower before God’s punishment.

Only… this time that didn’t happen. Cause ya know why?

Cause I am new.

Yes, I know. New… once again.

I was new a year ago when I first started the covenant, and I coasted off of that newness for 365 days. Until I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I could be both the old me and the new me.

Fail.

But now, I am a “new” new.

I have learned even more about God and His plans and His thinking and His ways.

His ways aren’t my ways.
My ways aren’t His ways.

I know now that after this 21 days that there will be another 21 days and another 21 days and another.

And I know now that after those 21 days, that this lifestyle of eating will continue until I transfer my residency from Earth to Heaven.

Because I have realized that God wants to heal me… not for just a year, but for a lifetime.

God, I want a permanent healing. Not just a year. Not just five years. I want to be fresh and “new” new forever. You see, these seven months I’ve been just holding on. Holding on to you. I’ve been depending on You, God; knowing that you are everything I need. Keep loving me, God, with all you’ve got— that’s what I’ve been depending on. Psalm 33:20,22 And now I keep holding on, but I feel like now I’ve let you pull me off of the cliff and that we are, once again, walking together. Help me stay waking with You, God. Amen.

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March 12, 2012

Day Sixty-Two: Nothing To Say

It’s actually day sixty-three when I am writing this. And admittedly I am sorta making myself sit down to write. Which is strange because I typically have something on my mind, but for the past two days there just hasn’t been much.

Admittedly, it was a full weekend spiritually speaking and so it could have been that my brain and heart felt “purged”. I got to talk more than usual with my husband since the kids were with my in-laws and he sure did hear me talk about the covenant and Jesus quite a bit!

Also, it’s my husband’s Spring Break (he’s a teacher) and so he’s around and I sorta just want to spend all my extra time with him (and, well, another person also means another meal to cook at lunch and another pile of dirty clothes to pick up, etc).

But when it all boils down to it, I know that the reason I have nothing to say is that I have skipped reading my bible for the past two days.

Why?

Because I have slept in. The time change on Sunday did something to my sons’ internal clocks and they have slept in until 8:00 on Monday and 7:30 this morning. Now that might not sound like sleeping in to someone else but for me it is… big time. I wake up by 6:00 every morning (including weekends) and my boys rarely… rarely… sleep in past 7:00.

I will totally admit that sleeping in has been great. And I will also admit that I haven’t felt like I have missed out on my bible readings.

But I know… I know that were I to push that any further that I would be risking so much. The Word has brought me so far… lifted me up so much… that I know that even if I don’t feel like I missed it, I know that I did. I know that some moment would have been different. better. more… full… had I read these past two mornings.

But again, that’s the cool thing about Jesus. He just picks up with me like I didn’t miss two days of meetings with him.

And so there’s always tomorrow. I can definitely say that my alarm is set for 6:00am tomorrow. I don’t want to miss Him again.

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