My Story

For years… for as long as I can remember… I’ve struggled with being fat.

I’m not going to say “overweight” or “chubby” or “obese” or “fluffy” because no matter the name you put on it, I felt I was fat. I believed I was fat. I knew I was fat. I was defined by fat.

After my second baby I got to be a stay-at-home mom and my last excuse for being fat was gone: I’d always said that if I wasn’t working that I’d be able to lose weight. Well, it wasn’t working out like that. I was struggling even more.

Dieting for three or four days. Cratering on day five. Gorging myself for three days and therefore counteracting the four days of dieting and gaining an extra pound or two (or more).

Then, repeat.

Every. single. week.

The year before, I read this book called The Weigh Down Diet and although it didn’t work for me, the book did show me that the only way to fix myself was through the power of God. And yeah, as non-PC as that might sound, I had reached a point where I knew that I needed some fixing.

It wasn’t so much that I was eating the wrong things. It wasn’t because I was eating at the wrong times. It wasn’t about combinations of foods. It wasn’t that I needed more fiber, less fat, more nutrients, less carbs, more grains, less sugar, etc, etc, etc.

I was a glutton.

I was eating too much. I was eating all the time. I was sneaking eating a candy bar, or a second helping, or even a flippin salad. I felt completely unable to stop myself. I wanted so badly to not eat that peanut butter cup, but it was literally as if I could not resist. I would avoid it for a few minutes, maybe even hours, but I almost always gave in and ate it. And then I would figure “Well, heck, I just broke my diet, I might as well just dive in and start again tomorrow. or Monday. or maybe Wednesday.” And I would proceed to eat all of the peanut butter cups.

Another time a former student made me a cake. A big cake.

Yeah, I ate the whole thing.

I mean, it was a problem. And nothing, even prayer, was fixing it. I was seriously considering asking my husband if I could go to counseling for it. I went to the Overeaters Anonymous website and was going to look for a meeting near me. I was like an addict that needed help… wanted help… but just wasn’t sure how to get it.

Then my husband’s aunt came in to town for Spring Break and was on some kind of fast where she wasn’t eating meat. She called it a Daniel Fast. I thought that it was cool and holy and all that but didn’t think about it again, and then about a month and a half later, it popped back in my mind. And so I pulled it up on the internet.

There were several websites about it: in essence, it was a fast where only fruit, vegetables, and water were to be consumed. There were hard core versions that stuck to that and only ate organic and there were more lenient versions that included pastas and breads and things of the earth.

And I guess all that praying I’d been doing worked itself out in this way: I decided to do a Daniel Fast. It wasn’t even something I had to think about or pray about- I guess cause I’d been praying for yearrrrrrrrs for God to show me what to do… I just knew that I needed to do one and I needed to do it about my addiction to eating (it took me about a week to come face to face with that word: glutton).

And that’s where my journey of The Covenant Diet began. Here is the blog post where it really hit me and where I realized that this wasnt just a three week thing for me.

21 Day Daniel Fast – Day 10

So today my thoughts have been on why? If I have been so successful during this process of resisting foods like chocolate, and chocolate, and ummmmmm… yeah, chocolate… then why haven’t I been able to do it before?

Of course, the answer, on the surface, is easy. Because I am doing it for God, with God, because of God. Because I have a covenant with God.

Okay. So thats true and right and all- but my next question was: well, why haven’t I had this covenant with Him before? Why haven’t I always had this covenant with him? Doesn’t His Word say that my body is not my own? Why would I even imagine going back to gluttonizing (yeah, that is so not a real word) my body… His body… after this covenant of fasting is over?

Its like this: I’ll fast and relatively easily not consume foods that are off limits during the fast. Again, because its for Jesus. (And here’s the kicker) But I can’t and just won’t do the same thing for myself.

BINGO!

Because it shouldn’t be about me in the first place. It should be about me honoring God with my body. About me attempting to present my body as a living sacrifice- and not the fat, stuffed, nasty lamb kind of sacrifice but a lamb that has been fed just right. And I’m not talking about healthy eating here. I’m not talking about staying on the Daniel fast forever either. I’m just talking about making a covenant with God to not be a glutton. At this point even just that would be a huge honor to God from me.

So, here’s to attempting to live a covenant life… for the rest of my life.

 

 

19 Responses to “My Story”

  1. Very inspiring January! I have the problem where I don’t even think about what goes into my body, and consuming all the kids left overs too, yuck. I just saw that you are doing this, and you motivated me, so now I’m going to do my research and start on a cleaner diet and exercise. Thank you for sharing your journey!!!!

    • Awesome! It has been so rad to see how God’s power can work in me! Blessings with your new way of thinking and living!

  2. I’ve been reading made to crave and that’s been helping me.

  3. A couple weeks ago I finally got the courage to expose all my lumpy imperfections and take a Zumba class. As a mom, I also needed to get over the guilt of being away from my 3 & 6 year old for an hour (pretty silly, huh?). On the drive home I asked God to help me with my food struggle. God clearly directed me to make a covenant with Him to only eat foods that nourish my body and honor Him. I wasn’t even sure what the word covenant meant except for a “promise” like my marriage vow to my husband. So I googled the word “covenant” and then “covenant diet” and here I am. Thank you.

    • That is so great!!! I think that you will be really amazed at the freedom that you are afforded! And I’m sure that God is so pleased that you have chosen to honor Him through your experience. I’m praying for you Amy that God shows you peace and freedom from food! Blessings girl!!!!

  4. Sweet January! I saw your posts on again and off again on FB, but I did not know that you looked at Weigh Down! Weigh Down totally changed my views on food, God, and myself. I am a food-addict as well, and struggle daily.
    I am glad you have found something that works well for you.

    • Yes- WeighDown definitely started my spiritual diet journey! So grateful for her starting me down this road!

  5. January- Your story is truly inspirational! I can’t stop reading! Thank you for sharing!

  6. Well January, I am a fellow, lifelong struggler who started a fbook page Getting Healthy For The Kingdom with some friends of mine. All on various journies to weight loss and health! A teacher friend of mine (I’m a teacher too) got ahold of your blog, passed it to me, and I’m going to pass it to others. I can’t wait to start reading! Thank you for sharing with us! I am in a process of overhaul myself, but I am certain I have not looked at my journey quite the way you do and I’m certain this is going to make a difference! Praise the Lord for revelation! God bless you!

    • So glad! Originally this blog was just to hold me accountable but I’m so glad that it has served to be a blessing and encouragement to people! Blessings on your journey!

  7. Above comment from me!

  8. Thank you for sharing your blog with us all! I second a previous response in saying that, I can hardly stop reading! You are very inspiring and thought provoking. Making me look at myself and my own response to food and eating!

  9. Hey there January! I was one of those fat kids who never grew out of her fat. I struggled with weight issues for much of my life, and the word glutton certainly fit me well. Somehow for the past few years I’ve been able to maintain a moderately healthy weight. Still, it was a constant struggle and I always seemed to be on a diet. My husband and I started following a plant-based diet a year and a half ago, and now I don’t even think about dieting anymore. As long as I just eat plant-based foods, I don’t gain weight (in fact I’ve lost 15 pounds). Enough about my story – your story is wonderful – so inspiring! I’ve known other people who have done the Daniel fast and loved it. Now I’m more curious about this fast than ever – I’m going to have to google it. Celeste 🙂 PS – thanks for following!

  10. Hey January! I think you’re one inspirational chica, so I nominated you for The Most Inspirational Blogger Award. I know life is busy, so accept it only if you want to. Even if you don’t accept, you deserve it girlfriend! Here’s the link: http://honkifyourevegan.com/2013/08/23/i-hit-the-jackpot/
    Have a great weekend! Celeste 🙂

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