Posts tagged ‘glutton’

August 19, 2013

Day 587: Step Aside, Skywalker

luke skywalker oreos

It took me a long time to realize that I could not do this alone.

There are so many areas of my life that were “easy” to give over control: my marriage, my children, my work. You’d think my eating would be easy-breezy compared to those.

But…… no.

For years I simply thought I was supposed to endure the problem or fix it… alone. The thought had never crossed my mind to allow God to have something to do with my eating. I mean… what was he gonna DO anyway? Turn Oreos into avocados on the way down??? (Which, for the record God, I’d be totally fine if you decided to bust out that miracle!

Until I realized the heart of the matter: that my heart and my mind were the matter! I was a glutton. I was an overeater. I was eating for all the wrong reasons.

But the gospel… literally… the GOOD NEWS was that I was also a child of God. I was allowed to tap into the same force that made the flipping Universe!

I mean, seriously… step aside, Mr. Luke Skywalker! Take notes Yoda.

I’m not going to just use The Force – I have THE. FORCE. living IN me!

So here I am, with His uncontainable power at my disposal, but still… still today even I try to do it all on my own. So, I must start every morning with this simple prayer. Say it with me. Start your day with me. No…

Start your day with Him.

God, today and everyday, I beg for your help. I lift up my hands and my heart to you for mercy. Amen. {Psalm 88:9}

April 12, 2012

Day Ninety-Three: Fallen And Forgiven

Well… here I am again. Humbled. Contrite. Subdued. But most importantly… I am forgiven.

We had a little birthday party for my mom last night, and oh… I was a champ! I made mozzarella sticks, creamy chive and chicken pasta, orange maple glazed carrots and sweet potatoes, dilly green beans and red potatoes, cheese filled garlic bread sticks, cheesecake, and ice cream. I ate the sweet potatoes, carrots, and the green beans and red potatoes. I was so happy that I had done well! I had chosen what was BEST!

Annnnnnnnnnd then today happened.

I woke up feeling poorly and I’m supposed to leave tomorrow on my first retreat (as in, I have not gone off on my own since 2007)! So, I snuck a Zicam in and then we left to take my husband to work. Well, the Zicam bottle very clearly says “Don’t take on a empty stomach”, but did I read it before I took it? Noooooo, of course not. So I started to feel icky. When we got home, I was still wanting to choose what was best so I grabbed an orange. And, well, the Zicam bottle also very clearly states to not eat citrus for thirty minutes after. So at that point I was feeling really gross. I saw the mozzarella sticks in the fridge and figured they would help a bit since they were mainly cheese.

Well, I wish that was my entire thought process, but really I had been looking for an excuse to eat one all day. So, I had one. End of story!

Nope again! I had seven more. Then I ate all of the bread sticks that were in the same bag. Knowing it was gluttony. Knowing it was wrong for me. Knowing.

And then later that night: three tortillas. I had reverted. Well, if I “broke” the covenant in my heart already then what’s the point of sticking with it? Granted I never thought about going back to chocolate, but it was the. exact. same. sickness of the heart! Bread, chocolate, chips, ice cream… it didn’t matter what it was… I disobeyed the voice in my heart. I disobeyed God.

But again, I am happy that I don’t have to spiral down into a pit of sin, despair, and overeating. I can make a choice after a day like that–

  • Be like David – having sinned – and ask God to cleanse me (Psalm 51)

or…

  • Be like the Israelites and abandon myself to this idol of food… and forgo the blessings of God and embrace a life of consequence.

I may not have responded perfectly to the temptation but at least I can embrace forgiveness and move on to a new day. Am I defined as a glutton because of this one day of bread gorging? No. I am a Daughter of the King. I am a woman fallen AND forgiven. And I pray that again, God would “restore to me the joy of His salvation and make me willing to obey Him.Psalm 51:12

January 28, 2012

Day Eighteen: Glutton Free Pizza

I think last night was one of my first tests… and I “won”!

Our oldest boy requested a pizza and movie night, so my husband took him to pick them up. They went to Walmart and got their Meat Lovers pizza which was fine (although I would have loved a veggie supreme… never thought those words would come out of my mouth) because I just picked off the pepperonis and sausages… just like a kid, hehe!

Now, ya see, I love Walmart pizzas and usually gorge myself on them… five or six big ol’ pieces. But this time… my mind actually wanted to eat within limitation.

Okay, okay. So what’s the big deal? The big deal is that I wanted to limit myself. Not because I want to lose weight. Not to be healthy. Not to save some to sneak later. Not to impress my husband with my dainty self-control. Not even so that I could have a topic for my next post. But because I am not a glutton.

Not anymore.

I am not a glutton. I am a new creation.

January 27, 2012

Day Seventeen: Sleepy Surrender

A hard core Daniel Fast would limit someone to water, fruits, nuts, and veggies. I am not going hard core although I did for my three week fast last year, a full year of that would probably drive me nuts (hehe) at this point in my journey. So, I decided to keep my liquid options as: water, tea, and coffee. None of those are really “rich” to me and since I’m doing this for a year I figured that would afford me just enough variety. The only thing I would really want to drink outside of those parameters would be Diet Coke! Haha! Anyway, this is another post about the covenant not being as much about what to eat but about renewing my mind and retraining my body.

I had two cups of coffee this morning and was onto my third which is more than I usually drink. After about half way through my third cup I noticed that I was pretty buzzy. My heart was starting to flitter flatter. My arms were feeling a shaky kind of weakness. And my thoughts were starting to jump around.

So, here is an example of a moment of me needing to renew and retrain myself: I could keep drinking despite the fact that my body was telling me to stop. Telling me that I’d had enough. Telling me that I’d had too much. Or I could stop drinking the coffee and those feelings would disperse.

This might be a moment when someone who has a “skinny mind” (aka: someone that does not feel the call of food or at least responds easily to their body’s signals of stop and go) would have no trouble. Just stop. But for someone who has been a glutton for years, and years, and years, and years… well, “stop” is not an action that comes so easily.

So I made myself have a mental conversation about it and I remembered yesterday’s post. It’s not about what is allowed verses what is forbidden. It is about doing what is beneficial for my body. About doing what would honor and please God. What would bring Him glory. And in that moment I knew that drinking that coffee and obviously forcing my body to endure hardship would not be beneficial. In fact, it would probably be detrimental. And in hurting my body that is “not my own“, I in-turn do not bring God any glory.

So, here’s to a sleepy surrender of that third cup of coffee!

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