Posts tagged ‘help’

June 26, 2013

Day 533: Easy Breezy

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Ready for another “I’m not really all that cool” confession. I already told y’all that I’m not super athletic and I’m finally okay with that. And now I’m here to tell you that I don’t really want to climb mountains, or mountain bike through forests, or go skydiving.

My idea of fun, or shall I say, my idea of “enjoyment” is… relaxing.

Bring on a sandy beach or lapping lake, a reclining chair, waves crashing, a book… and I’m set. I could literally do that every day of my life. (Well, theoretically… cause the closest I ever got to that life was in Costa Rica. And that’s been a looooooooong time ago. I threw in a pic of me above at my recent 24-hour get away for my 9th anniversary to a local lake. All we did was chill and relax.)

So, when I hear this in scripture…

Only in returning to me and waiting will you be saved. Quietness and confidence is your strength. Isaiah 30:15

That God WANTS me to be chill. He WANTS me to relax. He WANTS me to just wait for Him. He WANTS me to be quiet.

Well, I get pretty happy.

Cause I like being told “slow down. wait. chill out.”

And if I can just remember that in my food journey, then things will be so much better.

God is working in me. on me. through me.

I just need to sit back, follow His lead, and enjoy the rest.

PRAYER:

Lord God, you are so good to take care of me. As much as I try to weasel my way into being a part of it all… you always seem to just take care of everything.

Help me to calm down and just… WAIT. Help me to quiet my soul and be confident that You will save me. Help me to return to You when I run away.

Thank you for Your forgiveness that makes me WANT to return to You. Thank you for the hope you give me. You are my ALL.

Amen.

June 24, 2013

Day 531: God Has Ruined Me

I feel like I’m on the cusp of something great.

Like… last year was really, really great.

This year has been… good.

And good is, ya know… good.

But it’s realllly hard to go back to “good” when you’ve been great.

And I just feel like there is something big about to happen in my life. Now, I’m not necessarily saying something good is about to happen in my life, but something big. I know that God uses all kinds of things in our lives to drive us closer and closer to His Purpose for us… and I know that God uses all kinds of things to spread His Name and His Glory. So, I’m up for whatever. But I think I’ve kinda been… ruined.

I can’t do just… good.

Not anymore.

I need to be greatly used by Him now.

Annnnnnnd, here’s what’s… haha, great… about today’s positivity. Guess what it is?

POSITIVITY: I am ready.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. James 1:2-4

When I see the word endurance, I automatically think of my brother. He’s this super-athlete that enjoys running insane distances. We joke that he got all of the athletic endurance and I got none (although the older I get I realize it has far more to do with his willpower than it does with any physical genetics). Anyway… I’ve gone to many-a-race to watch him run and I’m thinking particularly of his half-Ironman race a few years ago. A half-Ironman is as close to chosen-insanity as I can imagine, but he loves to push himself. After his race, we watched videos and looked at pictures. As my brother told his race story, and as we watched him run by… exhausted… I sorta redefined my image of endurance.

{Speaking of image…
this is my bro in one of his many races!}

Austin Endurance

I think we often think that endurance is just someone running along without struggles. Endurance is not about continuing at the same pace. Endurance is about simply continuing. It’s about pushing past the limit that your body tries to tell you is there. It’s about, for a runner, throwing up while running to keep going and not stop. It’s about limping as you cross the finish line even though you have been running the past 5 miles with a blister. It’s about running through shin splints, cramps, pulled muscles.

And that’s sorta where I feel I’ve been the past few months… sticking to it while I struggle. even though I’ve stumbled. pushing through trials and temptation. But, I’m still here. I have not given up. I have kept faith that God will carry me across that finish line… I may be exhausted, but He and I will. finish. this. race.

So, today, I look at the calendar of coming days and weeks, and I know that this race has been testing my endurance and developing it, so that I’ll be strong in character and READY… ready for anything.

PRAYER:

God… I’m just so… excited! I know that the next chapter of my journey might be perilous and crazy and unexpected but I’m just so excited to be GOING on a journey. I’m so excited that I’m still ON a journey with You!

Thank you for giving me what I need to be ready. Thank you for all of the trials and whatnot that I’ve gone through over the past few months as I limp through this race. Thank you because it has shown me that it is about endurance and making it through with You.

I’m ready… ready for whatever path You are ready to take us down. I have this weird surge of faith and hope and trust for you lately and maybe that is why I’m so ready to… just DO IT!

Above all God, I ask that I keep my eyes on You. You made this faith that I rely upon. Help me to maintain the right focus… one that is all about you and not about being skinny. Help me God, every moment of every day.

Amen.

June 20, 2013

Day 527: Repetitive Rescue

psalm 91.14-16 verse

Over the past few months, I have found that I have tried to do a lot of this “dieting” thing on my own.

Not sure why… I mean, it’s not like the whole “doing it on my own” was working for me before, but whatev. I guess I just slowly let my pride or something override my willingness to follow God and utilize His Power and His Help.

After reading Made To Crave (well, I read the first half of it and then I had to return it to the library), I just kept remembering her referring, multiple times, to times when she would go into her bathroom or closet or something and cry out in prayer to God. And I sorta realized that I wasn’t really doing that when I was hitting struggles or temptations. So, this morning, knowing that I just HAD to get back on His Path, I started to just very, very simply pray…

God, help me.

And ya know what… I think He heard me.

Yeah… sorry, that was a bit of sarcasm.

I know He heard me.

I was able (not necessarily easily) to turn away from everything that was against my covenant with Him. But I’m gonna tell you that I’d probably said “God, help me” about 57 times before breakfast. Honestly though… it doesn’t matter to me how many times I had to say it! He was there. So…

POSITIVITY: I am heard.

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16

PRAYER:

God, I have one of those step by step prayers for you today.

First of all, forgive me please God. Forgive me for turning from You and relying solely upon myself. Forgive me for breaking covenant with You time and time again… willfully. deliberately. pridefully.

And thank you God for your forgiveness and mercy and unconditional love and second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc. changes.

With that being said, thank you for listening to me. hearing me. rescuing me. rewarding me.

And with THAT being said, God… help me. Please keep helping me. Draw me closer to you.

Amen.

September 1, 2012

Day 235: Blue Moon Blues

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Oh my Lordy.

Yesterday was… well, it was a bonafide me. me. me. day.

And I don’t mean that in a good way.

It was one of those days where I was pushing away my Jesus-loving self and allowing myself to act like a woman of the world. I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it however I wanted to make it happen.

I wanted to sit around all day and flip through my IKEA catalog even though my son is out of underwear.

I wanted to eat three slices of toast overly buttered this morning.

I wanted to have my kids watch movies all day so that I wouldn’t have to do anything.

I wanted to eat 3/4 of a cheese pizza.

I wanted to ignore God’s whisper that eating a bunch of junk wouldn’t make me feel right. or better. or good. or happy.

I wanted. I wanted. I wanted.

But there is a big difference between just wanting and actually taking.

And well, yesterday I took what I wanted. It was the first day in a long time that I felt like the “former me”… ya know, like: ignoring God’s pleas to not overeat, feeling powerless to resist eating, feeling like I needed to eat for some other reason than hunger. And I’m a little numb about it actually. I should feel bad and remorseful about it and I want to feel bad. But I don’t.

I think maybe it’s because a little bit of me is convinced that it was a result of the blue moon… everyone knows how full moons drive women a little wacko. Haha!

Maybe it’s because I knew that today would be a new day. A day where I could do right. Maybe that is why before my covenant started I was bawling over my cookie dough (that story is on day 21)… it was because I felt no hope. I had not yet learned that God could take my one horrible day and turn it right. I had not yet learned that God has the power to forgive and give me new life.

And honestly, today I feel almost as if yesterday didn’t happen. And double honestly, I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I hate to say that I feel like I “got it out of my system” because I don’t even like that mentality. But that is kind of how it feels.

Okay- I just had the moment where all these ramblings have brought me to the realization that I was needing to get it out of my system. Because I have been carrying the weight of the temptation on my own for the past few weeks. And resisting these food temptations is a heavy burden. A burden that added up day after day after day starts to beat me down. And I think I needed to get allllll the temptations off of my shoulders. How does my human mind think to do that?

Ironically enough, by sinning.

How does a mind set on eternity think to do that? Spending a day of fasting and prayer. A day of total and complete humility before God. A day of begging for His help and guidance and freedom.

And well, I think I have a day like that only once in a blue moon.

And it’s time to change that.

{Ahhhhhhh, but I do feel better having “figured” that one out!}

{Annnnnd, props to my hubby for helping me come up with my post’s name!}

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