Posts tagged ‘candy’

March 17, 2013

Day 432: An Attempt To Give Advice

I’ve had several new and old friends feeling pulled toward a covenant diet lifestyle lately and I’ve gotten several questions about it. A lot of the questions pertaining to foods are answered in the pages Get Started and What I Eat. But there are some “highlights” that I tend to want to impress upon people that are starting… things I’ve learned over the past year and a half.

{And honestly, I got a little derailed about halfway through my second “tip” because of a battle of the spirit going on inside me.}

Start Small. I know this seems opposite from what I did last year with committing for a full year (which was a BIG commitment), but I had already done a three week Daniel Fast the year before (a relatively small commitment). It’s not that God can’t work in a big commitment nor is it that He doesn’t want a big commitment. On the contrary. I found my greatest blessings in the long-term commitment. But, MY heart, soul, and mind needed to stay small at first. Sometimes we need to see God in the little things to have faith in the big things. So, start with a three-day fruit fast, or a three-week Daniel Fast, or whatever.

Be Hard Core. Whatever you and God decide to do… go at it all the way. No halvsies. Give Him ALL OF YOU for those three days, those three weeks, those three months. If you say you’re not gonna eat bread for three months then be above reproach about it- crackers… they are pretty much bread. tortillas… those are bread. biscuits. rolls. hot dog buns. bread. bread. bread. Don’t try to “convince” yourself that something isn’t bread when you dadgum know that it is. The moment you give yourself a little bit of “wiggle room” then Satan will wiggle his way on in there. This has been my hardest learned lesson. Over and over again I have to fight my mind’s conniving tricky ways to slide past the covenant agreements.

Even now I sit here, every few minutes, my eyes shifting over to the candy basket at my mother-in-law’s house… trying to figure out the loophole that would enable me to have one mini-Twix. Just one. That’s all I’d need (says my mind). Just a taste. It’s a special weekend. A special day. Just one.

Heck, just writing this fact down helps me to avoid it.

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But honestly, I could finish this little post and turn off my phone in a minute and walk over there to the candy. You would never. even. know.

I have to talk to God about it. That’s what it all boils down to. It boils down to… well, to…

God.

God’s power.
God’s help.
God’s spirit.
God’s Word.

God.

God. I want that candy. It’s not part of our agreement, but I want it anyway. Help me God. Help me to not eat it. Help me to resist it. Make me willing to obey.

But more than that God, help me to choose You. Help me to long for you as I long for that candy. Transfer that lust for the things of this world into a passion for You. I know those candies won’t satisfy whatever it is that ails my heart right now… whatever this is that makes me willing to rebel against You. Pride? Greed? Lust? Control? Anger? I don’t know what it is, but Lord God, I want You. I want to choose You. I need You to empower me with strength and discipline and self-control. These just don’t seem to be traits that came with my DNA! And so I have to rely on you to give them to me through The Spirit. Overpower me. Overpower my will. Make me like You want me so that I can honor You and glorify You with my life.

Thank you Jesus for how far you have brought me. Thank you for the opportunity to strive to be more and more like You. Thank you that my salvation rests in none of my successes or failures but in the assurance that You have taken all of my successes and failures and offered yourself as worthy when I could never be really, truly worthy.

Wow. Jesus. I love you.

Amen.

And guess what? The candy basket was empty. Ha! A blessing in disguise, I guess!

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March 11, 2013

Day 426: Fast Fruit

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Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Soooooooooooooo.

I……… ate a bunch of chocolate on Thursday.

… … …

Ugh.

It was the leftover candy from my husband’s grandfather’s 80th birthday party that did me in. (Those Twix. Oh my. Twix.)

… … …

Annnnnnnnnnnd then I ate a bunch of white chocolate covered popcorn yesterday at a baby shower at my house.

Okay, okay. And I had some punch.

Well, a lot of punch.

… … …

And. A huge slice of cake.

After everyone had left.

While my husband was in the other room.

Sure, these are small indulgences compared to a year a half ago, but I have learned that with me… and with food… there is no small indulgence.

Plus, I have this, ya know, covenant.

With GOD.

Anyway. You know how you have that moment when you really just have to come face to face with the fact that something’s not right. not working. not… yeah. just NOT working.

As I walked through the kitchen in the middle of the night after my toddler woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep on his own cause he has restless leg syndrome, poor thing, I saw the white chocolate popcorn leftover from the baby shower and thought “Ooooooo, I’m gonna get some of that and put the popcorn on my tongue so that the white chocolate is what hits first.”

At 3am.

I mean… seriously?!?!?! Does my dadgum id EVER take a break? It’s making my super-ego work overtime!

Anyway, I immediately thought to myself: fruit fast. I need to do a fruit fast.

I’ve been thinking about it lately anyway. I’ve realized that even though my covenant started out as a fast last year… it sorta just developed into a diet. I think I knew that a long time ago, but I sorta denied it to myself. I wanted it to still be holy. I wanted it to still be righteous. But, it really was… just a diet.

And I wanted to remind myself what it means to really fast. Like, fast to where it “hurts”. Fast so that I feel the sacrifice. Fast so that I long for food for nourishment instead of for one of the other zillion reasons I long for food.

So, I started a fruit fast this morning. I figured I’d go for three days. My husband’s brother and his family arrive on Thursday and I’ll probably be out of pocket pretty frequently at my in-law’s and grandparent-in-law’s where I won’t have as much control over my options. Besides, I’ve never done a fruit fast, so I wasn’t sure how it would affect me.

And holllllly moly.

I’M HUNGRY.

I was all good. I even thought around 10:00 this morning, “Oh yeah… I could so do this for way longer than three days.”

Until about… noon.

And then all I could see was everything in the fridge EXCEPT the fruit. I saw a carrot and thought “Oh my gosh, I’d love a carrot right now. or a bell pepper. or some tomatoes.” Things that I have wanted to try to avoid the past few months because they were allowed and healthy, simply because they were now “forbidden”, they suddenly became my desires. Honestly, I haven’t thought once about sugar or chocolate today… just vegetables and pasta.

And so I knew… “Oh yeah… I needed this.”

I sang some hymns.
I prayed to God.
I ate, like, 17 clementines.
I tamped down my horribly mean attitude that emerges when I am empty (well, for most of the day I did).

And I remembered… hunger.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

August 12, 2012

Day 215: The Icing Off The Cake

Day 12 of my hard-core Daniel Fast.

Confessional time.

I’m not sure what made me remember doing this, but I just thought of it and thought it might help yet another addict not feel so alone.

Oh, I know what it was- yesterday when I was talking about wanting something decadent… I remembered what I used to do when I needed a “fix”.

Sooooo, I was your typical “I’m not gonna buy candy to keep in the house because if I do then I’ll just eat them all.” But then I’d get hit with a craving (or what I thought was a craving- now I realize it might have just been more of a thought!) but I wouldn’t have any candy.

Soooooo, I would get out all the fixins for some good ol’ chocolate buttercream icing.

Powdered sugar.
Cocoa powder.
Butter.
Milk.
Vanilla extract.

And then I would make myself a bowl of icing.

Of course, never would I do this in front of my husband! This was only a sneak eating ritual. But when I started staying home, some days that was my routine. Put both boys down for afternoon naps and immediately come into the kitchen and make myself a vat of icing. Maybe put it in the fridge for a bit so it was more like ice cream.

Now don’t think I’m trying to sound all perfect now. My new “replacement” for that action has been to make my granola bar in a bowl. It might be more “healthy” but it’s the same act.

I want a treat.
I am not hungry.
I’m going to eat a treat anyway.

Chocolate icing.
Granola bar in a bowl.
A freshly cut up pineapple.

It’s all the same now. If I’m not hungry, then… I should not. eat.

Anyway. This was more of a pep talk for me to remember that just because I’m following some Daniel Fast doesn’t mean that I am exempt from overeating. from gluttony. from sin.

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