Day 454: I Will CUT You

I taught middle and high school English for about ten years before I became a stay-at-home-mom when my second kid was born. And part of being around teenagers all day means that you are frequently around YouTube videos.

Some are ridiculous. Some are gross. Some are awesome.

Well, there was this one video back in the day from MAD tv that some of the kids showed me and I thought it was hysterical. This “character” named Bon Qui Qui works at King Burger and she’s always calling security on people who make complicated orders and at one point a girl gets sassy with her and she says “Oh, I will CUT you.” My friends and I still joke around saying that… and, yes, we all try to say it just the way Bon Qui Qui said it. And yes, we probably look more like fools than cool. And yes, we don’t care because it’s too fun!

(If you are into MAD tv kind of stuff, here is the YouTube link if you’ve never seen it. It’s totally clean but stop at 3:15 if you don’t want to watch a little dance between the two.)

Anyway, lately I have really, really been thinking more about my portions. This is a cycle that I go through. I do really well eating just until I’m full for a month or so and then it’s like overnight I lose all ability to use self-control and I eat WAY too much stuff. My bloggy friend, finneyfer, recently commented on an older post (Day 365: My Portion) that I wrote about portion control and re-reading my OWN journey really helped to get me back on track with my thinking. {I love that God led me to do this blog for soooooo many reasons, but being able to go back and minister to myself is definitely one of my favorite reasons!} This part in particular has been a good reminder:

When I started thinking about “portion control” I remembered a commonly said phrase “The Lord is my portion”. I was pretty sure that it was a verse but didn’t know where it was in the bible or what context it was written in, so I looked into it. And I came across this:

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

And I don’t know Greek or Hebrew, but from what I could read about it, “portion” most often means “inheritance”. So, how can God be my “inheritance”? Well, I guess I was thinking that the inheritance was what your parents passed on to you to support you, to maintain your life, to give you a boost financially, to help you.

And well, God is all of those things for me. He supports me, maintains my life, boosts me, helps me.

God is my portion. He is my portion control.

So, when that huge bowl of soup, or second-serving of pasta bake, or fifty-third cashew is calling my name, I can remember… God is my portion… I don’t need this extra stuff. I have the portion that will last forever.

I have the portion that will last forever… just that one thing gives me goosebumps just to think about even!

And another thing that got my attention was a friend of mine from high school who recently posted this:

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In one of the comments she answered someone’s question, “How did you do it?” to which she replied, “It wasn’t as hard as I thought… it just took actually wanting to do it. No sodas for 2 years, cut my food portions in half and walked. That’s it… NO tricks… NO gimmicks!”

I really thought about that for a while… like, wow. She just cut her food portions in half and walked (for some reason I never really got into big soda drinking) and got into a size 4. What if I could do that? The walking and half-portions part of it… not so much the size four part, which is why my comment on her status said this:

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Anyway, and then the other day after all that I had baked a potato for lunch and I looked at that thing and went all Bon Qui Qui on it and said, “I will CUT you.”

And I did.

And I ate half of it.

And I was totally satisfied.

See? All of those hours teenagers waste watching pointless YouTube videos just might eventually lead to a really deep, spiritual insight that will help someone out of their gluttony. You just never. know. Haha!

Try as I might, there was simply just no way to get a baked potato cut in half to look photographically “cool”. But, anyway, here… is my baked potato. cut in half. Ha!

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