Day 253: So, Ummmm, Yeah

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I knew that it had been a few days since I blogged last.

Yeahhhhhhhh, wasn’t aware that it was wayyyy more than a “few days”!

Sorry to anyone that actually read this…

And honestly… I wanted to say that it was because I was too busy with keeping my house nice and Martha-Stewartish.

I wanted to say that it was because my kids were sick and so I have been taking care of them.

I wanted to say that it was because I have spent so much of my extra time in prayer and bible reading and I just couldn’t pick blogging over those things.

But. I promised in the beginning that I would be honest.

And well. I have already admitted to being a heinously bad housekeeper. (Like, Martha Stewart would probably gag if she came in my house… I think I wiped down the baseboards like… you know, like… never ago.) I mean. If we are being honest here, I finally loaded the dishwasher this morning only because we were completely out of bowls. And I don’t mean just out of one type of bowl or one size. But we were com.plete.ly. out of bowls. All. bowls.

And well, my kids were sick… like a week ago. Literally, last Tuesday night my oldest got the tummy yuckies. But again… that was a week ago.

And finally, and this confession brings me to my short revelation.

I have not read my bible or prayed in at least a week of not more.

And I “quit” my Sans-Snacky fast.

And I ate a tortilla tonight for no reason. And an extra bowl of cashews. And an avocado and mayo sandwich.

And as far fetched as it might seem… all of that overeating. The breaking of a covenant fast. It’s 100% because I first stopped reading and praying.

I facebooked. I pinned a gazillion outfits. I online shopped. I read several fashion blogs.

I did .not. read my bible. I did .not. pray.

Annnnnnnd I crumbled.

Finally got myself awoken to all of this through my prayer bible study tonight. It just shows me again how important it is for me to be around Jesus-people. I always am brought closer to Christ.

(And if you think I’m one of those ra-ra-sis-boom-ba type of church goers… just know that I didn’t come to church for three years a couple of years back… trust me. I have been disillusioned with the organization as well… but. at the core. The people. The Body of Christ. Well, it is amazing.)

All of this to say that I am gonna find my way back into communion with God. Not because I’m worried about my jeans fitting or not. Not because I am craving granola bars. But because I need Him. I need Him to Sustain me. I need Him to be my All.

Not Facebook or fashion or food.

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