Day 205: Gluttonous To Glorious… Again

Day Two of my hard-core Daniel Fast of only fruits, veggies, and nuts.

I’m already so glad that I’m doing this. I’m not sure that I ever addressed why I decided to do another hard-core fast. I did this same fast for all 40-something days of Lent, and it was… well… not beastly but it wasn’t easy. It just takes a lot more forward thinking and a bit of food planning and a lot of peanuts, avocados, and oven baked french fries. At that point, I was doing a Lent fast to focus on Christ and His Walk to Golgotha.

This time I’m doing it for far less lofty reasons. I just feel like lately I don’t care as much about being in a covenant. Not that I’m tempted to break it but it’s just become routine. It’s lost some of its specialness. And not that I have to feel happy and passionate in order to obey, but I want to feel passionate about what I’ve chosen to do.

I also was starting to feel the pull of food on me. That old lie that I needed food was starting to creep into my heart, mind, and soul again. Yes, yes… I need food, but I’m not talking about needing food for nutritional reasons. Again, I was starting to need food for my boredom. or for my worry. or for my sadness. or stress. or whatever it was. Despite having said that I was going to stop eating bread, I had been hittin the tortillas pretty much every day.

Plain. ol. tortillas.

And over and over again, I was reminded that it wasn’t about the food… it was about my soul. And obviously something was not quite right in my soul for me to be shoving tortillas down my gullet every day.

And seriously… tortillas?!?!

So, sure, I’ve had to spit out a few bites here at there: the leftover bite of peanut butter and jelly from my son’s sandwich, the penne pasta I popped in my mouth under the guise of “checking it’s temperature” for my son, the feta cheese I was about to toss on my salad. And usually I’m not an extremist, but a deal is a deal. And I may have faltered on my tortillas, but at least now I’m trying to get my mind right again. I’m trying to set myself aside so that God can set me straight. And doing this fast is a way to set myself aside moment by moment… food by food. crumb by crumb. And allow Him to move me again from gluttonous to glorious.

(Oh, and no coffee again today… although the headache waited until about 1:30 so I wasn’t as much of a bear as I was yesterday. I must have been drinking more of that stuff than I realized… or, well, no… I realized how much I was drinking of it. I just didn’t want to stop drinking it.)