Day Seventy-Three: Fantastic Failure

Annnnnnnnd another verse that came to my attention in church this last Sunday. I know, I know. I promise this is the last one… well, at least until I go to church again this coming Sunday!

I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

When I read this, I instantly connected with the last part: “Apart from me you can do nothing” because of how I could not… not… not… lose weight before this covenant. And oh wow- I remember now how that failure killed my self-esteem. I went through the phase of thinking that I was “less” because all these websites would tell me I was obese and on top of that I was even lower because I couldn’t get enough self-control to lose weight. My identity was becoming enveloped by those terms: obese. less. undisciplined.

I was essentially like a branch laying next to the Vine of God and wishing I could produce that fruit. But no, oh no, I don’t want to be part of His Vine. I just want the same fruit.

How freeing it was when I realized that I indeed could not do it. That in this area of my life, I was apart from God. And the covenant has been the way to graft me back into The Vine.

Because I think we all know, whether we have much of a green thumb or not, that a branch that has been cut off from the vine or trunk of a plant is not going to spontaneously have fruit on it. The branch is dependent upon the trunk to provide the nutrients necessary to bloom and make fruit.

And that is why I am so glad that my failure to lose weight on my own was so fantastically bad. I needed the Gardener to graft me back into the Vine. And now I am, I think, blossoming and bearing fruit. And I’m not just referring to the weight loss. In fact, that is only an outward showing of the change that is in my heart.

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